You know those moments where you are sitting and you think to yourself, I Am A Wreck? Over and over again I am finding myself in this place and I am exhausted! I really don’t get how anybody can look at me and think I have it all put together. I’m probably the most shattered piece of glass, the most confusing puzzle and overall the biggest mess this world has ever seen! I don’t think I can remember the last time I felt partially put together. What I can say about all of this is that no matter how much of a wreck I am, I serve a King who comforts me!
I want to be completely transparent and honest with anyone who will take the time to read this! When I say I am a wreck, I mean, I don’t know how not to be negative about myself. I don’t know why God brought certain people into my life. Why do I even try? The more I care about people the more they seem to push away from me, as if I am some terrible person. I get close to a breakthrough I get sent right back down into that deep, dark pit! I want to be happy and joyful but all I find is confusion and anger! I’m tired of feeling like I am surrounded by a bunch of people who pretend. Just be real! I am mostly exhausted from being trampled on. I’m tired of people taking one look at me and determining that I am going nowhere in life.
All of this being said, I think today (Tuesday March 5, 2019) I found a peace, A True Peace! I got on my knees and pleaded to the Lord to hear my cry for help! It was in that time where I realized rock bottom might be where I am, but God has a plan for my life. One of the hardest parts about sharing this is that I have never displayed this much anger and brokenness in a vulnerable way like this. Even harder though is the fact that most won’t read this at all, and it will just become buried away. For those of you that do read this, know, Yes, I am a Wreck! However, I truly believe God is going to take this wreck of life of mine and use it for His Glory! I may be a shattered piece of glass, but I know that each day the Lord is mending it back together!