What a title right? It is true though. Have you ever been reading the Bible and then God puts this one verse in front of you? Immediately you find yourself being fully convicted by the Holy Spirit. This recently happened to me and I am not sure I was even close to prepared for it. In Matthew 7 we are told how often we look to take the speck out of another’s eye. The issue though is the fact that I have this log in my own eye. God has been showing me that I have been way too busy trying to fix other people’s problems. Because of this I have pushed people away and have given off the impression that I am this perfect saint.
I want to first ask you all for your forgiveness. I never, ever meant to come across the wrong way if I did. Also, I need you all to know, that perfect and saint couldn’t be farther from the truth. More like wretched and hurting. I have done some very ugly things and have sinned and failed more times than I would like to admit. I say these things, not so that you all will feel bad for me, I say them because I need everyone to know that I am sorry. The truth is, I have sheltered myself and I know things I wish I never knew. Yes! I have probably tried to fix you. I found myself telling people bible verses and how to live. The problem is that I was the one who needed to hear those things.
I am learning now that I need to let go of my Mr. Fix It personality and let the One who truly can help you, help you. Not only do I have to let Him take care of you, but also, I need to give up control of my own life and give it all too Christ. Going back to that log in my own eye. If I don’t focus on the fact that metaphorically there is a log in my eye, then I am never going to give up control. I have no idea why it has taken me this long too understand that I am hurting more than I thought. The thing is, now it would be easy to try and fix myself, but God keeps reminding me that I need Him. So, no, I can’t fix you. You don’t need me to fix you. Maybe God is calling me to just be a pair of listening ears. Whatever it is, I can’t do this alone. I first need to surrender all too Christ. Second, I need all of your forgiveness and also I need you to not give up on me. I will still be here for you, but I believe I need to change a little how that looks.